Relationship Astrology: Bad Love Is Like Eating 98% Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate(Starry Night Astrology) Your eyes lock. There is something so plaintive in his look, like a lost soul wanting to be saved. Or he pursues you relentlessly. “You are the one. I need you.” It is a seductive, addictive message. And for a while, just a little while, it is just like that. He is so handsome; you can’t believe that he picked you. You drink in this heady power. You’ve found love, all consuming soul stirring, gut wrenching love. All systems go in the love department, your brain and your body sucks up the chemical mix of endorphins and hormones that he stirs in you. However, ultimately, this love is like eating 98% dark chocolate.

He forgets to call. Or some cruel words are spoken in anger. Or he wants you to drop your friends and concentrate on him. Then he stays out with his friends all night. Maybe some of his friends are women, but you aren’t supposed to worry about that. He borrows money but never has money to pay you back. He expects sex at a drop of a hat, whether you are too tired or too aggravated for it. You didn’t realize he drank this much or did so many drugs, but he does, and there is no money for his share of the bills or the dinner out or for anything YOU need. Not that he can keep a job. And it’s always someone else’s fault. Sometime, he tells you, it is your fault. You get angry; you have a bad fight. You want him to leave. Then he apologizes, tells you what a fool he’s been. “Don’t you know I love you, baby,” he whispers and you melt. After the make-up sex, the cycle starts all over again. You want to believe that this time it’s going to be different, but ultimately it isn’t.

What happened? Well sweetie, you got your self some bad love.

The Bard said, “The fault, my dear Horatio, is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” Certainly this is mostly true, but a good horoscope reading will point out the challenges you have in relationships and the challenges other people bring to the table.

Things to watch out for:
A heavy Pisces signature or Neptune aspecting a personal planet in the horoscope—Not that all Pisces are bad. That is too simplistic of an approach. What to watch out for is the tendency either in you or the other person to over romanticize the relationship. Those with a Pisces or Neptune signature tend to gloss over the faults, and magnify the good points of the person they love, often to the detriment of themselves and the relationship.

A heavy Scorpio signature or Pluto aspecting a personal planet—Again this is a not a characterization of Scorpios in general. What I am talking about here is that in relationships with a Plutonian theme there are special challenges surrounding the issues of trust and power and control in a relationship.

A heavy Aquarian signature or Uranus aspecting a personal planet—Uranus brings us “bad boys” into our sphere, for a while a least. Depending on the charts of individuals these types of relationships are either flickers of a candle flame or a lifetime of here again, gone tomorrow and then back again. The issues seem to be about personal freedom, but those that have difficulties with Uranus just plain have commitment issues and just can’t seem to manage their responsibilities to others.

Do you notice something here? Yes, the planets we are talking about are the outer planets, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. These planets have only been in the awareness of our species of the past two hundred years or less, depending on the planet, and just in the past two decades we have gotten a sense of what they are about. When they are active in relationships, they point out where we need to understand how we lie to ourselves, (Neptune), where we fail to trust (Pluto) and where we fail to honor our commitments (Uranus).

Until we navigate these issues successfully for some of us love is like eating 98% dark chocolate, looks goods, but too bitter to take for long.

The Astrology of Royal Weddings: Saturn in Libra

Prince William and Kate MiddletonThe world was captured by fascination with the royal wedding of Prince Charles and the commoner daughter of a peer by the name of Diana Spencer. Now thirty years later, their eldest son William is marrying commoner, Kate Middletown. Both couples’ weddings are under the aegis of Saturn in Libra.

The Significance of Saturn in Libra

Saturn is the planet of duties of responsibilities and Libra is the zodiac sign of romance. Saturn, in astrological parlance, is said to be exalted in the zodiac sign of Libra, meaning that many of this planet’s qualities are polished like a jewel under the loving care of the sign of the scales. Libra itself represents perfect union and balance, two qualities we would like to see in the most sacred of relationships.

Because Saturn’s circuit around the Sun takes 28 to 30 years, and many first marriages happen at about 28 to 30 years of age, it is not unusual for the first child or even the second child’s marriage to share the Saturn sign under which their parents married.

During the last go round of Saturn in Libra, Americans and Brits alike were facing the consequences of the sexual revolution and a redefinition of women’s role in society.

As I wrote in a post titled Saturn in Libra: Chasing Bells and Lace:

[blockquote]“From late 1980 to late 1983 (albeit with a brief sojourn into the next sign) many of my generation married under the aegis of Saturn in Libra. Pluto was there too, signaling a cultural change in how we viewed marriage. We were promised we could “have it all” – career and family – but that usually meant we could work two jobs, the one in and outside the home. After bearing the babies and rushing back into the workplace, we got the golden opportunity to rush home, make the dinner, do the laundry, feed the husband and then somewhere between midnight and dawn collapse in our beds to get up few hours to do it all again.

We were exhausted. The men wondered what happened to their sexy girlfriends. We wondered why they didn’t understand that the socks and underwear go into the hamper. Couldn’t they do that, at least? Our dreams of white lace and “happily ever after” eroded under the weight of our responsibilities. For our mothers, socks and underwear on the floor was a small price to pay for having the husband in the bed. For us, it was another battle cry in the inequality of the sexes. The divorce rate climbed seventeen percent from 1975 to 1992.[/blockquote]

During this transit many of us learned that equality meant sharing the joys as well as the burdens as equal partners, but others of us were not so lucky.

Diana Spencer married her Prince in a fairy tale wedding that we were all sure of would end in “happily ever after”. What ultimately happened was anything but. Despite Diana being the UK’s best loved royal, under the glare of constant publicity, Diana’s fight with bulimia, her difficulties with other royals and her husband’s hidden infidelity, the fairy tale dissolved into a hopeless and ugly mess.

The royal life is not an easy one, constrained as it is by duty and obligations. Personal choices are often subordinate to public exigencies. Those royals who married according to the wishes of their hearts often faced controversy at the very least and in the most extreme case lost his throne. The question the world is interested now is has the House of Windsor finally found the couple whose love story will transcend the difficulties of prior generations?

Let’s take a look through the lens of astrology to answer this question.

Part 1: Saturn in LIbra

Part 2: The Yod–Destiny Plays a Hand

Part 3: Charles and Diana—A Suitable Girl

Part 4: Ladies of the Rings

Part 5: Will and Kate—Happily Ever After?

Photo published under a Creative Commons LIcense from Flickr

Making Love Last: Mercury–It’s Our Story and We’re Sticking to It

Mercury Love Stories

Mercury Love Stories

Mercury is generally not thought of as a “relationship” planet. The planet of our thinking processes, business, commerce and communications, it just doesn’t fit in our notion of romance. At best it gets a glancing blow in composite and synastry chart readings. But we may have to revise our thinking on the importance of Mercury in a relationship. Several studies have shown the importance of Mercury’s processes in keeping a relationship strong.

While good communication between partners is universally recognized as an important element in a strong relationship, the functions of Mercury go deeper than that.

Judith Wallerstein in her 1995 book, “The Good Marriage” describes what astrologers would call a Mercury function as one of the 9 major tasks of making love last. She describes this task as “applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting to laugh and ward off boredom and ennui.”

Still another aspect of Mercury that of the storyteller is an important quality in a long lasting relationship:

Those who endure have a story, and they stick to it. Robert Sternberg, dean of the school of arts and science at Tufts University, has researched this and has come up with about two dozen relationship stories, some good, some bad. The “fairy tale story” has a prince and a princess; the “visionist story” is a business model, accumulating homes, goods and successful children; the “travel story” says that life is a journey; the “police story” divides the partners’ roles into cop and perp, with the former constantly monitoring the latter; the “war story” means that two people expect constant fights. “What our research shows is that couples tend to be more satisfied if they have matching story profiles,” Sternberg says. Pair a fairy tale believer with a war story believer and “it won’t work,” he says.

Mercury, as the planet of communication, has an important role in maintaining a relationship, even those with less than desirable storylines. More than just being able to talk, Mercury lay the foundation of what the couple view as their reason for staying together.

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Astrology’s Promise Of Marriage in Your Chart

married-coupleOne client told me that an “astrologer” had told him that he would never marry. Aside from the obvious, that knowledgeable astrologers refrain from making absolute judgments, this person was just plain wrong.

In the “Art of Predictive Astrology” Carol Rushman shows a little technique that helps to predict the number of marriages you can potentially have. She calls this the natal promise.

In a woman’s chart, count the major applying aspects to the Sun: the conjunction, square, opposition, trine and sextile.

For a man’s chart, count the major applying aspects to the Moon.

The planets to look at are Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Rushman observes that Mercury and Venus may bring an opportunity for marriage but often these alliances don’t end up at the altar.

Rushman also observes that the planets in applying aspects are very descriptive of the relationship itself. For instance a relationship representative of Saturn can be very long lasting, but filled with frustrations and burdensome responsibilities. A Jupiter marriage may give a partner who is very good to you. A Uranian marriage may be unusual, with each of the partners go their own ways but coming together from time to time.

In the case of the gentleman above, he has four aspects to his solid Moon in Taurus, but with Mercury, the Sun, Jupiter and Saturn in the sin the sign of Capricorn you can be sure he will marry later in life. Of course, just because you have an opportunity to marry, doesn’t mean you will. It is your choice, after all.

What planet in your chart describes a long lasting relationship?

Some Other Posts On Relationships:

The Moon–The Astrology of How You Feel
Bad Boys–The Uranus Ruled Relationship

Photo from Flickr