Reflection, Projection and the Power of Relationships

Jeffrey Kishner at Seduction Central has been kind enough to print some of my posts on relationships focusing on how the Outer Planets manifest in our relationships. The concept is that the people in our lives and our relationships can be characterized by Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. This is a broad stroke approach to be sure, but it does nail down for many people why their relationships play out as they do.

However, one question that keeps coming back is “If I have so and so (whatever the post is about) in my own chart, does what you are saying apply to me a person? If I have, for instance, a strong Uranus in my chart, does that make it difficult for me to settle down into a relationship? How do you determine if you are going to act out that archetype yourself, or project it onto another person? 

That’s a really good question, one that psychologists have been jawing on for the last century or so.

Can astrology answer that question? Let’s take a look.

Projection is a concept in psychology where an aspect of ourselves that we do not fully recognize as belonging to us is seen as residing in another person. The most broadest projection as an example I can think of is the concept that women are emotional and men are not. In these cultural archetypes, we project our emotional side on women, and our logical, thinking side on men. However, to determine if a projection is being made, an independent witness, such as a therapist is required. The therapist, observes the behavior, matches it with a clinical diagnosis, and helps the client to connect the dots so that the client understands their behavior. In helping the client “connect the dots” the therapist will design or rely on a therapeutic plan of action and enact it.

But astrology is not psychology, though admittedly some astrologers practice astrology like it is. Astrology is an effective roadmap, showing potential issues, things that may happen, and is very good, in the hands of astute practitioners. in explaining the energies that manifest in our lives. An astrologer can look at your life cycles and tell you that at age twenty eight or twenty nine you had a crisis or a moment’s pause (depending on the aspects) over you maturing sense of self. The astrologer can tell you that when at your Uranian opposition you may feel a sense of restlessness about your life and you wonder what is missing. But the decision on the course of action is yours, not the astrologer’s.

Part of this equation is freewill, the concept that postulates that it is our God given right to decide how we react to a situation. As a practical matter, the choices are limited along the continuum of wellness to sickness. For instance, how people with bipolar disorder react to their environment. is a result of the chemical imbalances that drive their behavior. Obviously, a person relatively free of mental impairments has more choices and an easier time in dealing with life issues than someone who is ill.

In my own practice I have found that people come into our lives that relects something inside us. But I also believe that as creatures we are so complex that the people that come into our lives reflect pieces of ourselves, not the entirety of our charts. Joni Mitchell put this concept into words and music very elequently :

As a child I spoke as a child–
I thought and I
understood as a child–
But when I became a woman–
I put away childish things
And began to see
through a glass darkly
Where, as a child, I saw
it face to face
Now, I only know it in part
Fractions in me
Of faith and hope and love

Love by Joni Mitchell

There is more to us than one aspect or life experience by transit. A person may have Uranus opposite the Sun, giving them an exceptionally strong sense of freedom and independence but may also have Venus in Capricorn, that gives him or her a strong sense of traditional values. A person with a freedom loving Aquarian moon may have a strong Saturn in Taurus that anchors them toward stability.

The power of relationships is that they give us the chance to examine a piece of ourselves in detail. It is our freewill choice to decide how to act upon that observation. It is unwise, however, to define ourselves, by that one piece of information, no matter how powerful it is. The facets of our personality as like a diamond, brilliant in some places, subdued in others, but all interlaced to create one gem. Astrologers can see what may happen, or is likely to happen, but we can not nail through a chart alone how a person is likely to manifest one piece of information, aspect or transit. It is astrology’s weakness and its strength, for it lays the responsibility of an individual’s reactions and actions at our own feet.

Beth’s Seduction Central Posts
Let Good Times Roll-The Jupiter Ruled Relationship
Bad Boys: The Uranus Ruled Relationship
Relationship Astrology: What Planet Rules Your Relationship?

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