Mercury Love Stories

While good communication between partners is universally recognized as an important element in a strong relationship, the functions of Mercury go deeper than that.

Judith Wallerstein in her 1995 book, “The Good Marriage” describes what astrologers would call a Mercury function as one of the 9 major tasks of making love last. She describes this task as “applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting to laugh and ward off boredom and ennui.”

Still another aspect of Mercury that of the storyteller is an important quality in a long lasting relationship:

Those who endure have a story, and they stick to it. Robert Sternberg, dean of the school of arts and science at Tufts University, has researched this and has come up with about two dozen relationship stories, some good, some bad. The “fairy tale story” has a prince and a princess; the “visionist story” is a business model, accumulating homes, goods and successful children; the “travel story” says that life is a journey; the “police story” divides the partners’ roles into cop and perp, with the former constantly monitoring the latter; the “war story” means that two people expect constant fights. “What our research shows is that couples tend to be more satisfied if they have matching story profiles,” Sternberg says. Pair a fairy tale believer with a war story believer and “it won’t work,” he says.

Mercury, as the planet of communication, has an important role in maintaining a relationship, even those with less than desirable storylines. More than just being able to talk, Mercury lay the foundation of what the couple view as their reason for staying together.

In the composite chart the aspects that Mercury make to other planets indicates the story that the couple tells about the relationship. Often the heavy hitting planets, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto make connections to the messenger of the gods. The developmental tasks of these planets become the story of the relationship. Aspects to Uranus talk about the need of the partners to develop and keep a separate identity from the relationship. Neptune speaks about the need to merge in a relationship that becomes a spiritual union. Pluto asserts the need to transforms ideas about relationships.

Let’s take a look at the composite chart of Joann Woodward and Paul Newman, a “Hollywood” couple almost as famous for the longevity of their relationship as for their Oscar award winning work as actors.

In an industry in which long marriages might be defined as those that last beyond the first year and the first infidelity, Mr. Newman and Ms. Woodward’s was striking for its endurance. But they admitted that it was often turbulent. She loved opera and ballet. He liked playing practical jokes and racing cars. But as Mr. Newman told Playboy magazine, in an often-repeated quotation about marital fidelity, “I have steak at home; why go out for hamburger?”

[In 1958] Newman and Woodward married, a lasting match that Newman attributed to “correct amounts of lust and respect.” The couple had three children. Despite later rumors that not all was well in their marriage, Stern said the couple were committed and honored each other’s choices in life. Although Woodward once quipped that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste on a Trans Am,” Stern said, “They had real reverence for each other’s talents and pursuits and idiosyncrasies.”

Indeed in a time when there was significant backlash for women who dared to have their own careers, Newman supported her career goals. He produced 5 films with Woodward as lead, two of which netted Woodward a Golden Globe nomination and a Golden Globe award.

The composite chart is heavily tenanted with planets in the Uranus ruled sign of freedom loving Aquarius, but there is a strong concentration on the Neptune ruled sign of Pisces. The need to merge into a spiritual union is as strong as the need to remain individuals.

Mercury and Uranus form a Yod, called the finger of God, with Neptune in Leo confirming the initial impression of the chart. In their relationship story is a sense of destiny, of having to be together. Yet, with the strongly Uranian flavor, the story was also that “no one else can understand us. It’s us against the world.”

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If you have a question you would like answered on these pages, send your question, birth date, birth time and birth place to starrynightastro@aol.com. I regret that time limitations prevent the publishing the full delineations for any individual.

Witty Mars in Gemini challenges stuck in the mud Saturn in Virgo to do something, ANYTHING, as long as it’s fast, and smart. Saturn in stress aspect (inconjunct) to Jupiter in Aquarius feels the pressure, but feels that

as it is anyway. The result is a fair amount of wailing and the gnashing of teeth as frustrated people cry, “What do we do? What do we do?”

Aries—Joni Mitchell sang about you. “You are rambler, and a gambler and a sweet talking ladies’ man.” Well, this goes for the women too. And yep, with Gemini in Mars, you are dangling a couple on your line. Someone should slap a warning label on your forehead “Warning—Date at your own risk!”

Taurus—New and unusual opportunities pop up that have the potential to be very lucrative. Don’t stare a gift horse in the mouth. Climb up and ride that sucker. Don’t think too long, or the wagon train will leave without you.

Gemini—When things blow on the home front, you breeze right out the door. There are only so many times this disappearing act will work. Face the music and have that “talk”.

Cancer—Lovely Venus is visiting your Sun this week, bringing harmony in your home and sweet love and cuddles. If you don’t want more children right now, use protection, because more is ripening than the tomatoes in your garden.

Leo—You really don’t know what people want from you right now. On one hand people want you to “do something different” and on the other they want you to do things the way you used do. What they really want is “do what you used to do, but get a different result.” Insanity.

Virgo—Communications get muddled when unexpected events crop up to clutter the communications landscape. Stick close to home for incoming messages.

Libra—Plenty is shaking for you in the love department, though who has caught your eye is not your usual summer catch. Toughen up in the clinches as this person can fall in and out of love faster than you, if such a thing is possible.

Scorpio—Stick to home base where you are needed. Someone might need a financial boost. You are not surprised are you? Fortunately, you’ve kept your nest egg growing.

Sagittarius—Jupiter, your guardian planet usually protects you from most of your excesses. However, this week, be especially careful in motion. Whether by motor vehicle or under your own power a need for speed trips you up.

Capricorn—all that your wheeling and dealing does is net you a nasty kick in the teeth. Go ahead and lick your wounds. By week’s end you’ll be feeling your oats again.

Aquarius—There are a lot of demands on you this week as the people in charge look to you to cover their butts. Fortunately, Mars in Gemini gives you a power boost so you can ride the wave. Still, get plenty of rest at night to recharge your finicky internal power paks.

Pisces—Someone talks commitment. Is that you? Probably not, since the last thing you want right now is to be tied down. Still, it’s in your own best interests to keep an open mind on the subject, just in case you change your mind.

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Julie Demboski posted an interesting essay on prediction. Check it out!

Wedding Ring

One researcher interviewed in depth over fifty couples that regarded their marriage as happy. Through this interview process she identified 4 relationship styles and 9 essential psychological tasks to creating a happy relationship. As it turns out, from this astrologer’s perspective, what the researcher did was to peg down the 4 styles of interacting that directly relate to the elements and the developmental tasks of 9 of the ten planets.

Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Balkeslee have published a book entitled, “The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts”.

The four types of marriages Judith S. Wallerstein identifies include the “romantic”, the “rescue”, the “companionate” and the “traditional”.

This typology suggests that there is not just one “right” type of relationship but also that multiple styles that are associated with longevity and happiness. However, it also suggests that relationships survive more satisfactorily if the partners’ philosophy concerning the type of relationship they have or want is similar.

Let’s take a look at the four relationship styles and see how they relate to the elements, fire, earth, air and water.

The “romantic”– in the “romantic” relationship a strong passionate, sexual component is the key ingredient. Each spouse possesses strong feelings of passion for the other. This feeling typically was present from the beginning of the relationship but also has been maintained in both active behavior and in memory.

Fire—Fire is the element of passion and inspiration. It is the element of adventure and fun. In a relationship that is marked with this element it is important to do things together as a couple. Connectedness is lost when partners pursue too many separate interests.

The “traditional”– In the “traditional” relationship, roles and responsibilities are clearly defined, with one partner’s being the primary wage earner and the other’s taking charge of the home and family. Although a feeling of love is important, romantic passion is not necessarily central to this type of relationship.

Earth—The Earth element is primarily concerned with the acquisition of material wealth and security. Earth shaking passion is not important as the building of a secure home base. Though those in an Earth relationship may pursue separate interests, their common goal holds them like super glue. Should one partner violate a traditional value, such as fidelity, the roots of the relationship are threatened but can be salvaged with a reaffirmation of common goals.

The “rescue”– In the “rescue” type of relationship, either one or both partners were severely traumatized prior to the relationship and were still suffering when the relationship was initiated. Therefore, at the core of the “rescue” relationship is an attempt at a healing process, where the relationship provides an opportunity to soothe psychological wounds and to grow.

Water—The element of water represents emotional responsiveness. The highest expression of this element comes through as emotional support for healing past wounds. The challenge of this type of relationship is to move past damage inflicted in the past so destructive behaviors don’t harm the current relationship. Connectedness is maintained through frequent expressions of love and appreciation for each other.

The “companionate”– in the “companionate” form, friendship and equality are at the core. Each partner attempts to balance psychological investment in career with psychological investment in the relationship and in the couple’s children.

Air—Air is the element of mental stimulation and friendship. This is a couple that needs to communicate with each other frequently during the day “just to say hello.” Connectedness is maintained through support of, though not necessarily through participation in, separate interests.

To check on how your relationship fits one of these four types, you would check a composite relationship chart. A composite chart calculates the midpoints between each of the planets of the two individuals along with the midpoints of the ascendant and the midheaven. Composite charts that has ascendant and midheaven agree in element will most closely describe the type of the relationship your partnership has formed. For instance a relationship that has Taurus on the Ascendant and Capricorn on the Midheaven will closely describe a “traditional” relationship. Those charts that do not agree will keep the element of the ascendant as the primary relationship style while incorporating the element of the Midheaven into the relationship. An analysis of the individual’s chart against the composite chart will show how his or her chart meshes with the composite chart and the style of the relationship.

Photo published under a Creative Commons License from Flickr.

Mark the date! The Astrological Society of Connecticut New Age Fair will not disappoint. There will be lectures, vendors, and of course, readers of all kinds, from astrology to tarot cards. And this fair, yours truly will be among the readers.

Because the readers are such popular feature, tickets to sign up for a reader are handed at on a first come, first serve basis. Many people arrive early just to get a ticket to sign up. Readings are set up in twenty minute blocks and are very reasonable. If you’ve been looking for a place to get a reading, but not sure what kind you would like, this is the place to come to choose and sample what is available.

So pull out your Blackberry or your Daytimer and make sure you don’t miss the date.

When: August 16, 2009
10 am to 4 pm
Where: The Keeney Memorial Center
200 Main Street
Old Wethersfield, CT

Directions: Take I-91 to exit 26. Follow signs to Old Wethersfield Historical district. At the intersection of Main Street (flag pole), turn left. The hall is the third building down on left. Plenty of free parking in rear of building, on the street, and across the street behind the fire station. The fair is on the second floor.

Oh No!

Photo published under a Creative Commons License from Flickr.

One client told me that an “astrologer” had told him that he would never marry. Aside from the obvious, that knowledgeable astrologers refrain from making absolute judgments, this person was just plain wrong.

In the “Art of Predictive Astrology” Carol Rushman shows a little technique that helps to predict the number of marriages you can potentially have. She calls this the natal promise.

In a woman’s chart, count the major applying aspects to the Sun: the conjunction, square, opposition, trine and sextile.

For a man’s chart, count the major applying aspects to the Moon.

The planets to look at are Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Rushman observes that Mercury and Venus may bring an opportunity for marriage but often these alliances don’t end up at the altar.

Rushman also observes that the planets in applying aspects are very descriptive of the relationship itself. For instance a relationship representative of Saturn can be very long lasting, but filled with frustrations and burdensome responsibilities. A Jupiter marriage may give a partner who is very good to you. A Uranian marriage may be unusual, with each of the partners go their own ways but coming together from time to time.

In the case of the gentleman above, he has four aspects to his solid Moon in Taurus, but with Mercury, the Sun, Jupiter and Saturn in the sin the sign of Capricorn you can be sure he will marry later in life. Of course, just because you have an opportunity to marry, doesn’t mean you will. It is your choice, after all.

What planet in your chart describes a long lasting relationship?

Some Other Posts On Relationships:

The Moon–The Astrology of How You Feel
Bad Boys–The Uranus Ruled Relationship

Photo from Flickr

Writer’s note: The newspaper who prints my astrology column Shoreview sent me to cover this story, then cut it for “space”. Not wanting to waste anything, including an afternoon of research and writing, I’m sharing it with you.

Maia Lynd

For many people just the phrase “New Age” conjures images of people who are “out there”, maybe a bit flaky, people they are not likely to know, at least not well. But the friendly people at the ASC New Age Fair will dispel this notion.

Among the picturesque 17th and 18th century houses of the historic district of Old Wethersfield is the Keeney Memorial Cultural Center, a late 19th century public school building renovated in 1985 to become the permanent home of the Wethersfield Historical Society.

I met up with Janet Booth, astrologer and, along with her many ASC duties, Fair Coordinator, at the third of this years’ fairs on Sunday, August 18, 2008. While Janet drags about a variety of items to their appointed places, she hands off duties to volunteers and leads me to the reading room, introducing me to one of the Fair’s most popular readers who likes to be known simply as Morningbird.

Morningbird is of Podunk Indian decent, a tribe native to the Harford area. When I said, “then your ancestors were here to meet my ancestors when they came,” she laughed. She told me the story of how when she was a child, her mother would send her to her room when people came to visit. She said she didn’t understand why then, but when she got older, she realized that she “knew things” about people that most people would not know. This made her mother’s friends uncomfortable. Soon Kat Lovell, of Northampton, Massachusetts joins the discussion. Kat’s day job is hypnotherapist, working with people on weight and stress management and fertility issues. But at this fair she is working as a tarot card reader. We talk about how other people find it difficult to relate to psychics as people. Dating, Kat tells me, is especially difficult since either, a date will turn off or through curiosity wants to test her gift. Kat is energetic and entertaining, and soon we are all having a good chuckle at her latest relationship encounter. The ladies gave me their cards and asked for mine. Kat chided me for not having any with me. Really, I protest, I am here to do the story, but I scribble down my contact information for them and go off to meet the vendors.

Against the backdrop of ultra high ceilings, tall windows and hardwood floors typical of a 19th century building, vendors set up in the main meeting hall. I say hello to Emile DeLeon of Knight People of Middletown, CT. Emile, who among his talents lists musician, astrologer, numerologist and intuitive reader, today is playing the part of shop owner, setting up a selection of books, CD’s, statues and Tibetan singing bowls on his table. Emile mentions that he feels the need for some coffee and I tell him I’m here today to write this story. Typical of Emile, he says he remembers my face but not from where. I remind him that I shop in his store from time to time.

I say hello to Charlie Edgarton, an astrologer and ASC member. Charlie and I had quite a spirited discussion the last fair, and again, I hear that he remembers my face and not my name. Charlie sets up apart from the main group of readers. He prefers to give ten-minute introductory readings for which he charges $10. With him busy setting up his table, and running a little bit late, I promise him that I will come back later, wrangling a reading from him. Knowing that I am an astrologer too, he seemed reluctant to give me the reading. He did well, zeroing in on a failed partnership (true) and that I would be having a confrontation with a woman at work this coming week. The friend who came with me laughed when she heard this, knowing my penchant for directness often ruffles some feathers.

Diana, Fair Vendor

I talked with Susan Chan, who does body massage for her clients, which she has done for the past twelve years. She doesn’t need to advertise, she says, because she has enough regular clients to keep her very busy. She promises the best massage ever. At a dollar a minute, her fair massages are a bargain. I opt for ten minutes and got relaxed enough during it to ignore the urgent ringing of my cell phone. “Forget that,” I think, “this is too good to interrupt.” In the background, as Susan worked out the kinks in my back muscles, Ngoma with his traditional Australian aboriginal instrument, the didgeridoo and Maria Menut with a Tibetan singing bowl play a melodic melding of the sounds of these ancient instruments.

There are also a series of free lectures at 11 a.m. that continue during the day on a variety of subjects. On this day there were lectures on animal guides, astrology, meditation, numerology and meditational music.

The most popular aspect of the fair, however, is the readers, who represent a broad base of gifts. Astrologers, tarot card readers, numerologists and psychics are represented among over twenty select readers. Readings are twenty minutes in length, for twenty dollars. You need to arrive early though if you want to speak with Morningbird or Kat, as their time slots fill up quickly since they are so popular.

The next fair is on Sunday, November 16, 2008 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., and it includes the ASC’s used book sale. Admission is always free. You can find out more information about the fairs and the Astrological Society of Connecticut by going to their webpage www.myasc.org. With a relaxing atmosphere and friendly people, it’s a great way to spend a day and lift your spirit!

The statistics are there, the warnings were there, there was even a dramatic demonstration of how dangerous the man was, but for 2nd Lieutenant Holley Wimunc, a nurse at Fayetteville, North Carolina’s Fort Bragg, there was not enough protection from the man that would ultimately murder her.

One in four women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. Approximately 1,400 women die at the hands of their intimate partner each year in the United States. On July 9, 2008 Holley Wimunc became one of them.

On July 13, 2008, the charred remains of a body was found in an area in close proximity to the Camp LeJeune Marine base was that of missing Fort Bragg soldier Second Lieutenant Holley Wimunc. Lieutenant Wimunc was listed as missing and endangered after she failed to report to work July 10, 2008. A concerned co-worker went to her apartment and smelled smoke coming from it. It was later determined that the smoldering fire was set by means of an accelerant.

Lieutenant Wimunc had filed for a protective order citing a frightening incident on May 17 where her husband physically assaulted her and held a 9mm gun to her head, then threatened to kill himself. However, when she failed to show up at the hearing for the protective order, the order was dismissed.

Why didn’t Holley pursue the protective order? Maybe it was her own essential nature that despite the evidence denied that her husband would ever hurt her. Her planet of aggression was in the peace loving sign of Libra and the planet of her emotions was in the conflict avoiding sign of Pisces. Perhaps she sensed that such an order would only enrage him further. Maybe she knew that 69% of all Protective Orders are violated anyway. Maybe the laissez faire attitude toward domestic violence at her post, Fort Bragg, known by the locals as Fayettenam, contributed to a sense that it was best for her not to make waves for her Marine husband who just completed two tours in Iraq. We will not know. What we do know is that her husband followed the predictable pattern of abusers, deny that they are the problem, lie about their behavior, and fail to take responsibility for their actions.

Holley’s estranged husband, Marine Cpl. John Wimunc was questioned on Thursday, July 10 and Friday, July 11 and denied having anything to do with his wife’s disappearance. He even reportedly allowed police to search his barracks at Camp LeJeune without a search warrant.

With the body identified as Holley, civilian officials arrested John Wimunc on July 14, 2008. This is the third murder of female military personnel in North Carolina in a little more than a half a year.

Astrology can tell you if the person you are involved with is capable of this level of violence. This astrologer undertook a study that included the most violent (serial killers) to men in anger management classes. What emerged was a pattern frequently that occurred in over 50% percent of these charts, an energetic connection running from the Moon to Mars to Uranus.

The moon represents the female principle, the caretaker, and the nurturer. Uranus is the planet of individuality, the impulse to do what sets us apart from others. Mars is known as the planet of violence. When coupled with the planet governing impulses Uranus, and the planet of our emotions, the moon, the result is an impulse driven individual who let their emotions drive their actions. Emotionally, these individuals are developmentally stuck, unable to delay gratification for their desires and expressing rage when their desires are frustrated.

Another finding that may surprise many who have an understanding of astrology is that it doesn’t matter what aspect it is, even the trine or sextile. Any energetic connection between the three planets is an indicator of potentially abusive behavior.

Clearly there are many men out there of which to be wary. An astute astrologer, using the above as a guideline, can help you dodge the bullet, before you get involved. But for Holley Wimunc and many women like her, it is too late. The last remedy is a remedy of law. Unfortunately for Holley, her killer is likely to get more of a break from the legal and military justice system than she had the opportunity to experience.

Wimunc Murder

James Roday as Shawn Spencer

Shaw Spencer hails from a family of cops, and was fully expected to carry the torch by his father, Henry, who meticulously schooled his son from a very young age in the finer points of detective work. But while Henry made him a detective, he can’t make Shawn be a detective.
It soon becomes clear that Shawn’s extraordinary powers of observation and deduction are still no match for his overdeveloped sense of fun, as he takes a string of random jobs strictly for enjoyment and entertains himself calling in tips to the police hotline for crimes he sees on television

In the series opener, after calling in one particularly accurate tip, he had to come up with a reason why he knew so much so he wouldn’t be considered a suspect in the crime. His solution, he pretends to be psychic, which apparently is more believable than “I notice things that trained police detectives, don’t.”

Sadly the USA Network or Wikipedia does not give us Shawn’s birthday, so we are on the hunt to peg the horoscope down. Let’s take a look at Shawn’s resume, also posted at USA:

more

Old Style Siamese

Cat Felix Sunrise Chart Tropical Koch Mar 15 1996 6:15:40

Because I only have the birth date, not the place or time, we’ll have to look at Felix from the perspective of the planets and their interrelationships.

Sun Essential Energy 25 Pisces 09
Moon Emotional Needs 01 Aquarius 43
Mercury Thinking Process 13 Pisces 29
Venus Value Systems 10 Taurus 18
Mars Survival Instincts 22 Pisces 49
Jupiter Spiritual Connection 13 Capricorn 57
Saturn Duties and Lessons 27 Pisces 10
Uranus Individuation Process 03 Aquarius 23
Neptune Spiritual Lessons 27 Capricorn 12
Pluto Transformation 03 Sagittarius 05
Chiron Pain for Growth Point 12 Libra 25 R

True North Node 17 Libra 18 R
Mean North Node 18 Libra 29 R

Because I only have the birth date, not the place or time, we’ll have to look at Felix from the perspective of the planets and their interrelationships.

Felix has two significant groupings of planets, called stelliums, one in the sign of individualistic Aquarius and the other in the dreamy sign of Pisces. Moon in Aquarius, Neptune and Uranus sits in one group: the Sun in Pisces sits with Mercury, Mars and Saturn in the other. In one sense, Felix is the uber cat, very aloof and independent, quite willing to chill in long naps in the sunlight of a nearby window. This is quite an equalitarian animal as well. Even though you don’t have four legs and tail, he is quite willing to accept you as his equal.

While Felix has an emotional need to be independent through his Aquarian moon, he is extremely aware and interconnected with his surroundings through the stellium of Pisces planets in his chart. Siamese as a breed are very vocal, and I can imagine him wandering through your shared living space meowing for apparently no reason at all. This is because he senses some psychic current that disturbs him. Unable to find a physical cause he usually ends up on or near his best buddy, you, to calm his nerves.

But what really drives your cat crazy is that he loves you. There is always something poignant about any creature with predominantly Pisces and Aquarian drives that realizes that he or she can’t quite manage life without the one person they love most by their side. What highlights this feeling is Chiron in Libra in stress aspect to the Pisces stellium and his Venus in Taurus. Chiron is the pain point for growth in our charts. Here is what I wrote about Chiron in Libra in a previous post:

Chiron seeks to find himself through others in the seventh house, and quite a search it is. Either he’ll run through lovers like chicklets, or give everything to an impossible love. Long relationships are best for Chiron in the seventh house but only as long as it is a relationship of equals.

But don’t stress over this. Felix’s life lesson is exactly to experience the type of relationship you have with him. Feed him, care for him, love him. That’s exactly what you are there for for this precious creature.